she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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