that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize