batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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