:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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