I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
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