what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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