Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
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At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
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You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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