We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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