And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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