Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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