My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize