im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
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she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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