After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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