I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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