i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I would but heβs not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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