i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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