; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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