the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize