I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
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I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
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You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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