If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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