Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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