Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
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Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
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I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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