apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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