Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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