i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
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Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
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When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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