no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize