My room smells like vodka and shame
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize