I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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