I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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