I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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