2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize