y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
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These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
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The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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