I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize