Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
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When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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