Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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