You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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