so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
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I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
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Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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