i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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