You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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