Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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