Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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