TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize