I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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