It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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