I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize