Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
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This beer is not sobering me up at all
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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