Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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