So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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