I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize