Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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