I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
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Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
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you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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